That shits creepy
What watching My Drunk Kitchen has taught me.
late night breakdowns are my speciality
you don’t understand how hard it is to take a selfie when you’re ugly
Skippity boppity boo I got the paper for you
There were these 12 year old boys hanging around. As I got my food and left they were all checking me out like little prepubescent lemurs and one of them said “Can I get your number?” And I turned around and said “Why, you need a babysitter?”